omnicrafter | Duplicity IC Inbox

You will want to if I tell you.

[ It doesn't matter how many promises a hero makes to the contrary, he thinks sourly. They will always do the right thing. And if the right thing happens to be snaring an Ascian and destroying them body and soul, well... He scowls at her. ]

Mayhap not now, but you will.

What does that even mean? A weapon...?

[But she has one of her own, so that makes no sense, does it?

Mayhap not now, but you will.

Then, the thought occurs to her as she puts the pieces together, recalling the moment Urianger gave it to her in the first place. It's a long shot, but after a pause...]

...The auracite.

[ His gaze hardens; his lips thin. Abruptly, he sits up and gets to his feet, striding to the kitchen. He doesn't say anything as he pours himself a glass of water from the fridge. But then again, he doesn't have to, does he? ]

[Her mouth hangs open as she processes his reaction. So... that is it, then. No wonder he keeps it locked. As both a weapon and something he doesn't want to look at, most likely.

Perhaps it was better not to ask in the first place. Too late for that, though.]

I'm sorry.

[She sounds bewildered. At least she ascertained what she wanted to, but... she doesn't feel like leaving just yet. And, unfortunately, nameday sex doesn't seem to be on the menu.

Irhya circles around and kneels on one of the couch cushions, peering at him from afar.]

Come sit.

[ He glances at her sidelong, like a wary predator. Like he doesn't trust her with the knowledge she now has. But he brings his glass of cold water back to the couch and sits, maintaining a pointed distance while he sips.

He still doesn't say a word. ]

[She watches him sit on the other end, away from her, and can't keep herself from scooting toward him despite every stay-away signal he's giving off. Based on the way she's turned at an angle away from him, her back almost nestled into his side, it's not a sexual advance, for once.]

Are you upset I figured it out?

[ He seems to think that over for a few seconds before offering his response. ]

I am not so foolish as to think I won't find the pieces gone one day and wielded by one of your hands, now that you know it exists.

[ He doesn't even trust Felih. He's seen the look the man sometimes gives him when they stray close to topics about Zodiark and the rest. ]

So it is in pieces...

[A deep sigh. She isn't even sure a used auracite can be applied to the same task twice, especially when already shattered. And frankly, she doesn't want to think about the kind of ultimatum that would require her to even consider it in the first place.]

I won't tell them if it bothers you so. My ultimate aim isn't to see you dead again, and I don't see any reason to use it in a place like this.

I don't believe you.

[ He delivers the words scornfully, sneering at her. ]

How many times do you think I've heard that sentiment from heroes such as yourself? 'I would never tell', 'I would never use such a thing' - yet all of them find themselves breaking their word, and they have the gall to look at you with tears in their eyes begging for forgiveness that you cannot give. They tell you that 'they had to' because you 'forced their hand', as if you were the one to blame for their choice in the matter! As if you made the choice for them, when really, they simply want to avoid their own personal, gods-damned responsibility!

[ His voice has risen to a shout by the end, and his sharp, golden eyes bore into the those of the Warrior sitting beside him. The glass in his hands is held in a white-knuckled grip and seems to be the only thing stopping him from physically lashing out. Perhaps that is why he fetched it.

His voice drops from a shout to a hiss. ]

So what is your ultimate aim then, hmm? Apart from reminding me, every day, that the time I have here is borrowed and that I could be returned at any second to the moment of my death.

Don't act like you're the only one here who's ever been in that situation!

[Her body whips around so fast as she gets to her feet that her tail swings far to the side with the momentum, her ponytail falling off her shoulder in the process.

This is exactly the same foolishness as before. Don't take the bait this time. Don't say something you'll regret later.]

Much like you, I just want to go home. Maybe it will be irrevocably changed by now, or maybe I won't fit in anymore, I really don't know. But I want to go back to the people who actually know me and give half a damn about me, at the very least.

You want me to stop saying it? Fine. Then don't give me a reason to need to use such methods again and there won't be a problem. It'd have to be a pretty extreme circumstance, granted, but I still know what you're capable of at your worst. For now, though, it stays between us.

[ He sneers at her again and takes a long draught from his glass, glaring at some spot on the floor afterwards. He wonders if his intention to seal them here with him will be the reason she needs to try to kill him again. How darkly do the passions of a dark knight run? She wishes to return home, she says? Well, at least she has one to return to.

The anguish surges like bile in his throat, almost choking him. Not even water helps swallow it down. Gods, this place is like an elaborate cage, and it won't even let him die.

(He wonders, though, how long he would stay dead should she or the others succeed again.) ]

[After a moment, the rage on her part dulls, and she heaves a dramatic sigh, plopping back down next to him.]

You are such a pain in the arse sometimes.

[And yet she can't really bring herself to just be done with him, either. Funny, that.]

...I still appreciate the return gift. It's been a while since anyone acknowledged my nameday, even by accident. But then, I usually don't tell anyone, either.

You're welcome, [ he mutters. ]

[ The bitterness lingers. It will never recede entirely. He's lived too long to let go of these entrenched truths of his. She knows this - they all do. ]

...I thought your existing pet might appreciate a companion. The coeurl's whiskers will not generate more than static.

So you've doomed my cat to a life of static shocks and a kitten friend that won't ever grow up with him? Fantastic.

...Ah, well, he's already enjoying it, so it's gone over quite nicely with its intended recipient, I suppose.

[Sarcasm. It makes sense that a coeurl would be lightning-aspected, though, so she has to give him credit for managing it in a world without lightning crystals to achieve it. Well, achieve it the "hard" way, anyway. Creation magic must be a hell of a convenience; it's no wonder the ancients apparently had to make an entire governmental bureau for its regulation.]

I still don't hate you, by the way. I don't know if you were hoping to perhaps accomplish that by spouting off, but my opinion hasn't changed... easier though it may be for everyone involved if I did.

Yes, 'twould be easier if you hated me and didn't want me anywhere near your bed, [ he drawls, leaning forward to place his empty glass on the coffee table. He slumps back into the couch. It is perhaps telling that he hasn't pushed her away despite what's been said. ]

[ He closes his eyes briefly and remarks offhand: ]

In fact I'm shocked that you haven't yet asked me to bed.

Because I can't tell anymore if it would make you feel better or worse to do that.

[...At least she's honest.]

And it's not all about me, anyway. I don't like making people feel pressured into it unless there's pretty clear enthusiasm for it there. It doesn't have to happen every time, you know?

[ He tips his head towards her, glancing out the corner of his eye. Like as not she can't see the gesture, but there is a fair bit of doubt in it. Doubt which he decides against voicing. ]

...It passes the time. How I feel about it is irrelevant. I'm long past enjoying such acts beyond the direct stimulus it gives.

[Irhya only makes a small grumbling noise, visibly disappointed by that response.]

That almost makes me not want to bother anymore. Other than filling the quota, what's the point if you don't enjoy it?

[Maybe he's like Jon and just isn't interested in it altogether. Maybe because the Eorzeans are incomplete, he doesn't see sex with them as anything but a chore. Maybe a little of both, but the answer for her has always been because she liked doing it. And perhaps the sexual freedom of this place has changed her views on it, and her behavior, pretty significantly, but... it should still be a give and take. Right?]

Are you sure there's nothing you'd like to try that would actually get you engaged in it?

...No. Not as you currently are.

[ Which could simply mean her fragmented existence. Or it could mean something more. Something deeper. As with many of his evasive answers, there is a layer of subtext beneath his words. ]

[Hearing that just re-ignites the burn in her chest that always happens when she remembers there's little she can do for him. Only against him; never towards a common goal or simply in the name of friendship, no matter how small.]

Well... I guess it's not like you'd be the first to not enjoy sex in a place like this. There have been people who just can't get into it no matter what, I'm sure.

[She is silent for another several moments.]

I'll stop, all right? I'll stop coming onto you so godsdamned much. I had hoped you'd at least get something out of it, but I guess it not being so is a good reason to slow down a little.

[ He heaves a sigh and sits up a little more, reaching up to turn her chin towards him, voice pitched low. ]

I want to get to know you better. Not your body; your character. You are not the Warrior of Light I know, even if you may have bared your heart and soul to another me. The sex... The sex is pleasant, I will admit, but I do not wish that to be the basis of our relationship.

[That makes her eyes widen, the fur on her tail standing up at the same time her ears rotate back slightly.]

I... I didn't...

[Did she really, though? To another him? Could it really be called that? They had a few moments, sure, but she's been so convinced up until now that there's no point in starting over to achieve something that won't even be at the same level as what she might've, maybe, possibly had. She's played it off like a joke ever since he appeared, a casual not-quite-friends-with-benefits that is so much more secure at a distance than actually bonding with him.

Irhya jerks her face away with a start, turning and clearing her throat nervously.]

Beg pardon, but I don't think you know what you're asking. I only approached it this way because it's safer and doesn't really ask anything of you other than physically. Right?

[ He doesn't know the level of intimacy she had in whatever alternate reality she comes from - and that is precisely his point. The hero he knows chatted with him, pestered him with questions, and in so doing revealed much about their character. He grew fond of them in spite of everything between them. But he doesn't know her. ]

I don't really appreciate being seen as another man to bed, [ he drawls. ] If carnal satisfaction is all you desire then there are plenty of others able to provide it. I don't like half-hearted measures either. Either you choose to love me, or you do not.

[ He pauses, then adds: ] Although I cannot recommend loving an enemy. And a dead man, at that.

That's not what I...

[Gods, but his words hit her hard without him even realizing it. There's a deeply bitter look on her face suddenly, her jaw clenching hard, and all directed wholly at herself.]

You acted before as if it was better for me not to get close to you. And now you're telling me you want to? Why do you keep going back and forth on this? Is it just that you want it, even though you know full well it isn't the "better" option? The easier option?

[He'd never come back for someone like me.]

I don't see you that way, and I'd love to try and... re-establish a connection, I suppose, but there's...

Mmh. I'm just... worried.

Hmm, mayhap 'love' is not the appropriate term...

[ He falls silent, mulling over the tangled briar of his feelings for who they were and who they are now. He himself doesn't rightly know what he wants from this. The dark tendrils of his god wrap tight about his heart.

He has no immediate answer, but perhaps hearing her thoughts will help move the matter forward. ]

...What do you fret over?

Duplicity IC Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)