She lets him take his hand back, but squints at him in the meantime. "He didn't like it," she says, and it's not a question. "In that case, stop sulking and apologize to him."
After thinking on it a moment, she is struck with an idea. "If physical sensation travels to him... would it help if I hugged you? Two birds, one stone, right?"
As is the norm when he closes off, her suggestion gets a flash of irritation.
"No. I already switched off the program. It wasn't the kiss which offended him."
Why would he call it cruel, he asks himself. Was the idea of lying with him that reprehensible? Did he misjudge Hythlodaeus' willingness to put words to action?
Something like realization sweeps over her face. She'd thought it strange at first, but was her intuition really that close to the mark?
"Well, in that case," she says reasonably, "he must have been offended at you flaunting that you have a lover over him, right? Is it-- Do you think it's at all possible he's jealous?"
Of what, she isn't as sure of, but even if it's not the jealousy of a third wheel, it could easily be the jealousy of someone who has not towards someone who has. Though it's hard to imagine someone so easygoing slipping into a nasty emotion like jealousy so easily...
"Jealous?" he says disbelievingly. "Hythlodaeus has not a single jealous bone in his body. He was the one who would oft make outrageous claims purely to embarrass me, and leave inappropriate notes in his letters."
"...Hades." Irhya crosses her arms, quirking a brow. "That sounds a lot like someone who might become jealous of his friend getting a new lover or two, don't you think?"
Sure, it sounds ridiculous on a surface level, but that doesn't mean the man is incapable of any negative emotions. Little clandestine signs of love that he never took seriously, that Hythlodaeus was content for him to believe were all in jest...
She doesn't even really know him that well at all, and yet it's fully understandable when she thinks about it that way. It would hurt. How else can it be explained?
"Perhaps you were rubbing it in a little too hard," she adds, shifting her weight. "This is all just speculation, but now that you mention all that... it's awfully hard to deny. I just wonder whether it's jealousy of you, or jealousy of me."
He can only stare at her. Hythlodaeus - jealous? Preposterous. All that ridiculous teasing had been simply that: teasing. His friend had never made any suggestion they meant a single word of it, although Hades acknowledge he likely would have passed over it anyway with the amount of nonsense that came out of their mouth.
"That cannot be right," he says flatly. "In all the centuries we knew each other, Hythlodaeus never once made mention that he felt anything deeper than friendship. He knew such comments would incite a reaction from me. It grew to a point where I would try to ignore him to deny giving him a reaction at all."
"That is an awful long time to beat around the bush," Irhya agrees reluctantly, "but is it not also possible he did all of that because he knew you wouldn't take it seriously? That there was safety in normalcy? And now that you've gone out of your way and done something out of the ordinary--" she gestures strongly, "that it's disrupted the whole routine?"
Or maybe she's just thinking too deeply about it all. Either way, it may be worth asking the man himself about it, or at least offering him an apology for her part. In retrospect, perhaps it was an insensitive move to make.
He continues to stare, but this time he's not really seeing her. Part of him continues to vehemently deny her words. After all, doesn't he also wish to preserve some of the status quo in his own way?
(If he truly wished for that, though, why did he not simply endure the teasing and refrain from provoking Hythlodaeus in turn?)
It's a question he's not comfortable acknowledging just yet.
"...Don't be ridiculous," he says finally. "If he loved me then there wouldn't have been such disgust when my thoughts turned towards taking him to bed."
After brooding silently for a short span, he reluctantly says, "He jested that the slap he had given me earlier by proxy placed me in a favourable mood. Naturally, I thought of...us, in response. However, I must have also included him in my imaginings. He beheld them, and called me cruel for it."
A subconscious mistake, then; not something he meant to include. A mystery that grows deeper and deeper by the second...
"Then, why include him at all if you've no romantic inclination towards him?" she says carefully. "If you didn't do it on purpose, why would your thoughts veer that way? This is starting to sound like unrequited pining on both sides."
Scowling heavily now, he crosses his arms whilst refusing to meet her eye. "Have you not been listening? Every other word out of his mouth is one made in jest. His response just then confirmed what I have always believed - that his pestering me was only ever a game to him. I've no interest in someone who cannot take anything seriously, least of all affairs of the heart."
The words are harsh yet they seem to hurt him more to say. He slams down a stony mask, fingers digging in.
Irhya opens her mouth to counter, furrowing her brows with full intent to argue, then seems to think the better of it, especially after that last line. This isn't his pride talking, is it? Would hearing he was sincere the whole time change his mind, or make him angrier?
"Fine," she ends up saying in defeat, deciding not to mention her intent to get the story straight from him as soon as she can. "But that doesn't change that he cares about you, or that we hurt him with that kiss."
"Ahah... apology accepted," she says with a laugh. "Though sometimes spontaneity is a good thing! Maybe you should try it more often. Just... not while transmitting, yes?"
On the other hand, it does give her some naughty ideas on ways to tease the living daylights out of him when they're apart, but she'll think more on it later.
"Yes." He takes a deep breath and lets it out, closing his eyes for a moment. What had he been thinking, doing that on the spur of the moment? And to Irhya of all people. It isn't like him.
"...May I kiss you again? I know you do not think very highly of me after our last conversation, but I cannot easily put aside how I feel towards both you and Felih."
"I-- You made me think it was the other way around!" she responds with a pout."I was worried you would put it all aside, given your newfound resolve..."
Though arguably, it would be better for him if he did. Would be better for her, too, as he so gracefully pointed out to her previously. But her heart remains as blind to reason as ever.
Leaning down, he cups her face and kisses her gently. It's warm and affectionate - nothing like the one he had given her earlier. This one is heartfelt.
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omnicrafter) wrote2020-11-10 05:45 am
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After thinking on it a moment, she is struck with an idea. "If physical sensation travels to him... would it help if I hugged you? Two birds, one stone, right?"
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"No. I already switched off the program. It wasn't the kiss which offended him."
Why would he call it cruel, he asks himself. Was the idea of lying with him that reprehensible? Did he misjudge Hythlodaeus' willingness to put words to action?
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"Well, in that case," she says reasonably, "he must have been offended at you flaunting that you have a lover over him, right? Is it-- Do you think it's at all possible he's jealous?"
Of what, she isn't as sure of, but even if it's not the jealousy of a third wheel, it could easily be the jealousy of someone who has not towards someone who has. Though it's hard to imagine someone so easygoing slipping into a nasty emotion like jealousy so easily...
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Sure, it sounds ridiculous on a surface level, but that doesn't mean the man is incapable of any negative emotions. Little clandestine signs of love that he never took seriously, that Hythlodaeus was content for him to believe were all in jest...
She doesn't even really know him that well at all, and yet it's fully understandable when she thinks about it that way. It would hurt. How else can it be explained?
"Perhaps you were rubbing it in a little too hard," she adds, shifting her weight. "This is all just speculation, but now that you mention all that... it's awfully hard to deny. I just wonder whether it's jealousy of you, or jealousy of me."
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"That cannot be right," he says flatly. "In all the centuries we knew each other, Hythlodaeus never once made mention that he felt anything deeper than friendship. He knew such comments would incite a reaction from me. It grew to a point where I would try to ignore him to deny giving him a reaction at all."
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Or maybe she's just thinking too deeply about it all. Either way, it may be worth asking the man himself about it, or at least offering him an apology for her part. In retrospect, perhaps it was an insensitive move to make.
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(If he truly wished for that, though, why did he not simply endure the teasing and refrain from provoking Hythlodaeus in turn?)
It's a question he's not comfortable acknowledging just yet.
"...Don't be ridiculous," he says finally. "If he loved me then there wouldn't have been such disgust when my thoughts turned towards taking him to bed."
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"I guess," she says, though she doesn't sound convinced. Then, a moment later, "But why think that at him in the first place? Were you not joking...?"
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"Then, why include him at all if you've no romantic inclination towards him?" she says carefully. "If you didn't do it on purpose, why would your thoughts veer that way? This is starting to sound like unrequited pining on both sides."
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The words are harsh yet they seem to hurt him more to say. He slams down a stony mask, fingers digging in.
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"Fine," she ends up saying in defeat, deciding not to mention her intent to get the story straight from him as soon as she can. "But that doesn't change that he cares about you, or that we hurt him with that kiss."
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"I suppose. And I suppose I owe you an apology for kissing you out of hand," he says grudgingly.
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On the other hand, it does give her some naughty ideas on ways to tease the living daylights out of him when they're apart, but she'll think more on it later.
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"...May I kiss you again? I know you do not think very highly of me after our last conversation, but I cannot easily put aside how I feel towards both you and Felih."
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Though arguably, it would be better for him if he did. Would be better for her, too, as he so gracefully pointed out to her previously. But her heart remains as blind to reason as ever.
"Yes." She casts her gaze up at him, hopeful.
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Leaning down, he cups her face and kisses her gently. It's warm and affectionate - nothing like the one he had given her earlier. This one is heartfelt.
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"You're stupid," she says airily after coming back up, "and I love you."
Better, she thinks. Payment accepted.
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"As do I," he says softly.
Thank you nonetheless.