omnicrafter | Duplicity IC Inbox

I'm not sure I can pinpoint an actual when? It's just something I did as a child when I was bored, and I kept going back to it... and now this is what it looks like, twenty-odd winters later.

...I do hope you're not trying to identify the people in the pictures, though. Look, imagination is free, all right?

[No one asked, girl...]

That makes sense...

[ Meaning it will take years for his own efforts to bear any fruit. Well, no reason not to keep trying he supposes. At least for as long as they're all stuck here. ]

Are they not real people? I keep hearing its best to draw from life.

Well... not anything more real than my own imagination, as I've said. So in my head, I suppose they are.

I have worked with one or two people here for modeling purposes, though, both doing the modeling and doing the drawing. All sessions that, surprisingly, did not end in copious messing around afterward.

...Though I'm not sure if I should be proud of that or not.

If the goal was to practice drawing then I would say yes be proud. Not to disparage 'messing around' but its good to have focus.

I mean

I happen to like messing around

Maybe that's the problem?

I do not think it sounds like a problem. Perhaps seek that out first and foremost instead of a model?

Would

Would people even respond to something like that...

"Looking for nude model for art and also probably sex"

???

Gods, I'm really bad at this.

Well...I was suggesting looking for a partner instead of a model. Maybe if you find someone you like and who likes you back they'd be willing to do both but if you go out and ask someone to model for you that isn't the same as courting.

[ He isn't really that much better he thinks but at least he feels strongly about being straightforward about what you want to avoid confusion. ]

[But...

Estinien's words to her settle cold in her stomach.

Is there such a person?]

Good point. It's just sex, I guess. It's not like I'm asking people to marry me, and it's supposed to be a nice thing, right?

[There's a gap in the messages, and then...]

Okay so hey.

Wanna model for me? And mmmmmmmaaaayyyybe sexy stuff if you feel like it?

[ Cehd'ra's ears twist at the second message. He'd been trying to encourage her to stop asking for a model and then hoping for a partner and just skip to asking for a partner...this isn't quite what he meant but at least it's a step in the right direction.

Of course, now that leaves the awkward answer... ]

Modeling I would not mind doing at all but [ He spends a bit too much time trying to decide how to say it. ] forgive me. I do not feel that way about you Irhya.

Oh. That kind of thing, huh...

[Not that he can be blamed for not wanting to regardless, but it's a little different than asking a random nobody to do it and getting turned down. Leaving that lingering with someone she actually gives half a damn about is... a less than desirable outcome.

The messages lapse briefly as she comes up with something on the spot.]

Are you just not really into women? In that case, if you run across any hot guys who might be into that kind of thing, send them my way, maybe? And I'll do the same for you!! Next best thing, right? σ(ﾟｰ^*)

I've been trawling about the art community and all... I don't know if you draw or anything, buuuuut if you have any other hobbies I can hook them on, I can certainly do that! Or, you know, your best features or something?

[ In the past Cehd'ra worried a great deal about offending someone or hurting them with any advances...he never imagined he'd face the opposite problem. Of wounding someone with a rejection...but now here he sits, watching the tiny screen in his hand as a nervous knot builds in his stomach as he tries to decide if he should say something more or what it should be.

Yet instead Irhyra sends another message and maybe it reads as trying to hide the hurt, but it could just be what it looks like: acceptance. Cehd'ra hopes for the latter, letting it be a comfort.

The first question gives him something new to think about as well. The only woman he can recall ever feeling even a spark of attraction to was Merlwyb which...says something. He's not sure what it says but it's something. Probably best not clarified. ]

That I can do. You've the right of it I prefer men so if I find any I think good enough for you I'll get them in touch with you. And if you'd like to do the same I'll not refuse though you do not need to...

I've begun learning to draw actually. Emphasis on begun. Other than that I suppose you could say I enjoy taking pictures of birds.

[ Seeing as how this whole conversation began... ]

Maybe that's true if you can argue you're having any better luck than I am. In a place like this, though, at least it's a practical arrangement. (And at least you're filling your quota.)

[Odd, though, when his network double didn't seem to mind her taking the reins too much... but perhaps that was a bit of an exaggerated case, and shouldn't be counted. Even then, it seemed like he was simply doing it because she was nudging him in that direction, not because he was actually interested in playing along. It'd explain why she's not totally shocked by the response, at any rate.]

You're pretty quiet and self-assured, but you also do a lot for others. I'm sure that'll go far in the bedroom, too, for what it's worth. And none of those silly "promotion" bits on the network, I promise.

Oh, and... sorry for making things awkward. I guess I really am just that bad at figuring out this friends-with-benefits thing. In the meantime, though, imagination is free, and drawing supplies are cheap enough.

[ There were a lot of things Cehd'ra's clone did that he would not simply because, while Cehd'ra struggles to say no, the clone couldn't manage it at all. Cehd'ra doesn't know how many took advantage of that and he doesn't think he wants to, he can only be glad they were able to find and put a stop to it.

Of course Cehd'ra's not thinking about that right now, just as glad to let those sorrowful memories remain behind--not forgotten but not constantly overwhelming his thoughts either. ]

Ah well it takes practice. It did for me. Still does to be truthful. I did not have a lot of experience before coming here...

[ It's embarrassing to admit but Irhya's being open with him, it's only fair if he does the same at least a little. ]

Forgive me if I overstep but it could also be 'Keeper shite' playing a role. Growing up it was always the men's job to do the courting at least that's how it was in my own clan. If it was the same for you growing up when would you have gotten the chance to learn? Our ways are so different from the other races.

No overstepping at all; I suspect you're absolutely right. My brother is the same way, too. It either ends up with the men being aggressive shite-eating arseholes or meek and unsure of themselves. So I guess it only makes sense that I'm out of my element here, too.

...Not that I'm insinuating you're either extreme I mentioned, mind you. I was actually really touched by that offer you made on the network to share that gift you got.

You really are deserving of being a Warrior of Light, you know?

Well I try not to be an arsehole if nothing else...

[ He's joking, or trying to. If anything Cehd'ra would admit to falling into the latter category of Keeper men but he would at least say that he's gotten better over the years. ]

Thank you. Though I wonder if any of us 'deserve' the title considering how much grief comes with it...

I know that isn't how you meant it. To be truthful as difficult as it's been I am glad for it. I was not in a good place before becoming an adventurer.

A gesture like that is the opposite of arseholery, I'd say.

...I wasn't either. Maybe it's just indicative of how messed up our society can be, especially if a mother isn't particularly in a place to be a mother at all.

Mmm, maybe deserving is the wrong word for it. Well, you deserve it more than I do, at least.

[Wait. Did she ever actually stop to tell him about that part, and not just her family issues?

...Shite.]

No society is perfect...

[ He doesn't remember that specific detail but it does put a lot else of what she's confessed into focus. ]

My own perspective is incomplete but even I could sense the pressure on my older sisters to mate at least once.

[ And for the handful of boys, even though they were not allowed to stay, there were heavy expectations to go forth and multiply... At least that's how it was in his clan. ]

Some less so than others, as either of us can attest.

Yes... whether they want to or not, in some cases. Ironic, though, when the only one of her family who actually had any interest in that at all turns out to be the one least likely to ever do so. Hells, my younger sister is even the type to go as far as to permanently destroy her capacity to bear children just to stave off people pushing her into it, then seducing everyone with a dick she can get her mitts on just to drive the point home.

You know, I have to wonder if Megumi's tribe splitting off from the Shroud Keepers was at all related to these problems we gripe about... I might've done the same thing in her ancestors' shoes, to break away and create something more acceptable to those who would follow.

[ Gods be good... Cehd'ra's ears twist as his fingers hover over the screen, not sure what to say at first. ]

Drastic measures on your sisters part. She did not hurt herself beyond her aims I pray?

It may be worth asking Megumi but from what she has told me of how her tribe runs things that could be the case. It sounds to be very different from what you and I grew up knowing. Honestly part of me does wish that I'd been born in her family...

Not yet... that I know of. She uses some kind of forbidden thaumaturgical technique she dug out of the Ossuary from the sound of it, the kind that was originally an experimental solution to such "accidents", but got locked away real fast when everyone realized it was acting as more than just a temporary fix. She even gave me the page on it, too... though as a roundabout kind gesture or an underhanded jab at me personally, or some mixture of the two, I couldn't say.

I've thought that exact same thing, too. Though for what it's worth, I guess, we could always just sort of be what counts for a second family here. Even if we can't screw around, we can still be there for each other in an emotional capacity, and that's just as valuable in a place like this. Especially when we have the social context no one else does that contributes to half our issues anyway.

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