[A few days had passed since Emet-Selch's return to his mirror, since- everything immediately afterward. But it would take more time than this to settle him, to grow at all accustomed to all that had happened, both in Aefenglom, and at home. A lifetime to settle his thoughts, to reminisce, to accept.
To live, apparently. In this strange world far from home, he was permitted life, permitted thoughts that weren't gradually drifting away from him, one by one as he let his consciousness fade into that aetherial sea. Interrupted from his slow dissipation, he was here; and yet, despite being denied his retirement, he found he didn't mind. Tired as he remained, there was no rush.
Bringing up Irhya's name in his watch, Emet-Selch just looks at it for a long time, staring at the blank field below without typing anything at all. Where could he even start? It felt like lifetimes ago now that they had argued, had reconciled of sorts, in a pattern that continued. And while he didn't regret it, exactly (in the same way that he didn't regret any of the Rejoinings, anything that he'd done), it called up a mentality that he had a harder time reaching. Even when they were on better terms, there had always been an undercurrent of resentment from him, of grief that he could barely contain. There had always been distance. As yet, that was perhaps still there, but all of that fear and anger, that lack of forgiveness, that tendency towards spite- it felt, not foreign, but not something he could call to mind quite so readily.
What was left in its wake, he couldn't tell. But that was all the more reason to talk to her. To... find some sort of answer.
Irhya wasn't the Warrior of Light that he had helped, but- the Emet-Selch of her world would have done the same, he's certain. He knows himself, if nothing else; he would've entrusted the world to her, to the humanity she'd successfully championed for. The Ascian... still didn't like them. He still had a measure of distrust for them, disdain, even, but--
--but it hadn't been the time for them to perish. It was... their world now, to live and die with such transience; the star was theirs to guide from that moment forward. And he could rest. His work unfinished, his people lost, but- their time was over. It had been over for so long, lost from the start, for all that he'd never been able to see it.
What Emet-Selch actually ends up sending is extremely brief. A non-sequitur, a comment that consists of only a handful of letters, swiftly typed, for all that he had taken so long to consider his words to start.]
[No kidding. She could be right about a lot of things if he'd give her an ilm or two... but she manages to put a lid on the sarcastic commentary for now. She had wanted to speak to him after... that little development, but this works just as well. It seems he has something to say to her, too, one way or another. He wouldn't waste his time on idle conversation otherwise.]
[He wouldn't even blame her for the sarcastic quip; it might not even have annoyed him too far, as he had significantly less to be defensive or resentful for.]
In your observation of my last moments, you mentioned that I appeared unburdened. That a weight had been lifted. That you yourself were relieved to see it.
[A statement he had not taken well.]
You could say... that I have more of an understanding of what you meant.
And I have still more questions than before, of course. Isn't that always the way of it?
But I guess I hadn't really understood how much they meant to you until I saw the crystal you made. I can't even tell you what it was like to hear Hythlodaeus explain it all, and suddenly feel like something clicked into place...
Once more, he tells you more than required... and knowing him, he quite delighted in it.
[Nor does it exactly come as a surprise that she'd 'found' the stone, so it does seem that they were possibly from around the same time, for once... in their own ways. However--]
Though I must ask, having not been in a position to watch the remainder of your battle...
...Elidibus was really young when it happened, wasn't he? Comparatively speaking. I forced myself to put up a front at first, but... gods, I wanted so badly to reach out and hug him.
[But he couldn't deny the shade of relief he felt, to know for certain. With even Elidibus freed from their endless burden, then- it was finally over. Emet-Selch gazes at the watch for a few minutes without seeing it, thinking of not much of anything. It was... far less bitter of a feeling than he'd expected, being done. For all that it was strange to be alive enough to recognize it.
Eventually he shakes it off, frowning at his own reverie before he continues.]
He was. Though an adult, he was yet easily the youngest among us. But despite his age, he was more than suitable to take on the role of our Emissary... and the perfect candidate to become the heart of our god.
Did you catch a glimpse of who he had once been? I thought you might. [That she would realize why she'd been provided the rest of those constellation stones. Her own, to keep. The others to give to the one who needed the reminder most of all, even if it required death for Elidibus to see it.] Of the three of us who persisted... I would say he was the most changed, though through no fault of his own.
[At one point, not that long ago at all, he would have scorned her words entirely. Would have been easily incited towards insult and fury, that she would dare to offer sympathy for pain she had no right to approach. He would have bristled, or at best, offered some sarcastic commentary on how yet again she would only pretend to feel for them after the fact, when it was convenient for her--
They would have argued, would have hurt, and little would have been accomplished.
But the inclination was gone, replaced with a more settled mood he still didn't know the shape of. So he only continues, writing the words as he thinks of them.]
He had been something of a younger brother to us all, so when it became clear he was the one most suitable to become Zodiark, there were none among us who did not hesitate. Who did not consider asking if there should be another way forward, to spare both him and us this fate. The 'honor' of it was far outweighed by our awareness of all we would lose in our salvation....
Perhaps Azem was right in the end to leave us, though I still know not what other choice we had.
[The mortal hero carrying their soul had accomplished impossible things, and its original bearer had been no less remarkable. If he had trusted in Azem instead, could things have been different...?]
And choice was taken from you as well, due to Her influence... belated as it is, you know the full truth of it now.
[Moments after she'd sent that message, she'd almost wanted to send another saying to forget what she said, in the hopes he wouldn't snap at her for it. But it seems he's past that point, somehow, mollified by what he's experienced.
It's a small blessing. Maybe, from here forward... there'll be less anger and hurt all around.]
I just wish I could ask Her for something more to go on. She once told me that Zodiark "wanted for power" when I was in the aetherial sea, but I know not what the truth of it is... And yet, it would be inaccurate to say there's not been some information purposely withheld.
I think I understand it all better now. Perhaps Azem might've found another way, given time, but the end of the world wasn't about to wait. Perhaps... thinking about what could've been only hurts more than it helps in this case.
And yet, even though they left, even though a rift remained, you still cared enough to make that crystal in secret. If you would allow me to say it... thank you for being their friend to the end.
If Zodiark ever wanted for power, it would only be towards fulfilling His duty. For saving us and the world. That Hydaelyn would twist it in such a way to ensure your sympathy, your loyalty- well. She's as beholden to whatever desires accompanied Her creation. As for what those might be, lying at the heart of Her, I could only guess.
But you're likely right- considering it too long at this late date benefits us nothing. All we know for certain is what has already occurred, the fate we've landed ourselves.
[He still wasn't one for regrets, but it was hard to avoid a bit of retrospection, in the wake of everything ending.
But the gratitude has him pause, and he's relieved that this is over text, knowing that he wouldn't have been able to disguise his startle with much success. Irhya... wasn't Azem, precisely, but she carried part of them, their will living on through her, if cast in a specific Irhya-esque light. To hear something like that from her... it felt a little like a part of that eternally unbridged divide between himself and his old friend had- not closed, but had been eased that smallest bit.]
They deserved to be remembered. I think, were our positions reversed, they would have done the same.
[They had been friends, before they had ever been members of the Convocation. They still were, despite everything.]
[What was the impetus for summoning Hydaelyn in the first place? All supposition about it being to prevent Zodiark from growing too powerful has been just that. And only Her original summoner might know such a thing...
If only they could go back and see more of the recordings in Anamnesis Anyder. Perhaps when Y'shtola gets around to establishing that means of travel back and forth like she said she wanted to.]
[Part of him wondered what she would do with Hydaelyn. With Zodiark. What could be done with either of them.... But it had little to do with him now, which was a small relief. It was literally out of his hands and into hers, and he couldn't say he envied what was likely to still be ahead of her. A world like theirs still required its heroes.
The request to see him doesn't come as much surprise. Strange as it might be, they would have to face each other eventually. Contacting her first through text had been some small delay of the inevitable, and for all that he didn't dread it, that he wanted to see her, really- it wasn't the easiest, or most straightforward of reunions.
But then, perhaps he always had been drawn to complicated relationships.]
If you like. I can teleport myself to my room momentarily.
[She gives him about five minutes, then comes knocking at his door, giving him a heartfelt look as it opens. Then she pulls him into an embrace without further ado, curling her arms around him tight.
Maybe he doesn't need it, strictly speaking, but she does.]
Hey...
[Spoken by way of greeting, muffled into his shirt. Just his scent is calming, even if she's begun to associate it with feeding by now. That isn't the point of this visit, however.]
How are you feeling? You seem... like you've found a little peace.
[The hug is not unexpected, but he still pauses at the feeling of the miqo'te's arms around him, before returning the gesture a moment later. Keeping her close, he's quiet for a moment, breathing her in as well as he rests his face in her hair.]
Wouldn't you expect death to be peaceful?
[Something that could've been a bitter statement, but instead was only mild. It wasn't as though he were delighted with being dead, but it... wasn't terrible either. More importantly, perhaps, he didn't resent it.]
I'm getting used to it. Something that I suspect will take some time... 'tis an unfamiliar feeling, to wake up every day here and remember that it's over.
Not always... but that's why I'm glad you found a little for yourself.
[The mention of it being over makes her squeeze a little tighter. The difference is astounding... maybe he really did have an epiphany in that moment, one she couldn't comprehend.]
That you get to wake every day at all is precious. At least, it is to me. Even small stretches of time are priceless to the fleeting.
I hope you'll be all right. I guess it will take a little time still, but I think it might be better than being left with naught to do but dread the future. You seemed so stressed...
[It could've been another point of insult. How could he be alright when he was dead, when returning would mean nothing but a resuming of that state? When all he had here was a time unknown to him? It would be easy to do nothing but dwell on it, wait for it, but--]
--But it's valuable, this. Even if it's only for a little while.
[A sigh of a breath stirs her hair, and he strokes her back slowly with one hand.]
I won't say it's quite relaxing yet. But I suddenly have been given a lot of free time, being no longer called to accomplish something impossible.
[Technically his days were as full or empty as they ever were, but it felt different, to not have them weighted down in the same way, aware of all that he was meant to save but was unable to reach.]
Even if it's only for a little while, I'll always be glad we got to spend time together. We never would have had the opportunity otherwise.
[Her head turns slightly, so that her ear can listen in on his heart inside his chest.]
Maybe I should call on you more often, then? If you've got such an overabundance of free time and no idea what to do with it. More quest board adventures, perhaps? Or another play outing? I probably still owe you dinner since we skipped it last time...
[Never would've had the opportunity indeed. He never would have met this Warrior of Light in any place other than here, this reflection of Azem who differed slightly from the one he knew. And he wasn't the Emet-Selch who knew her, who had never gotten the chance to know her like this.
And yet... it didn't feel as though they were travelling quite as parallel as they once were.]
I don't regret it. Being here, or meeting you.
[If only it hadn't required reality-travelling and death. But it was... what it was. Even if this was all they had, it was something.]
But should you find something of interest, be it an indulgence of your tiresome adventuring habits, or a decent-sounding show, I may be more amenable to persuasion. [That's a 'yes', apparently.] Even just watching you at your crafting... I could spare you some time, perhaps.
[He adds a few edges with his wording, but she grins brightly up at him, thrilled that her persistence has paid off. It's an offer that means a great deal.]
I'm so glad to hear that. All of it. Just you wait, I'm going to find something even you'll have to admit is enjoyable!
[A pause, and she takes in a breath, as if trying to hold back tears. It's so ridiculous, she doesn't happy cry, but even so...]
[Those edges would likely always be there. They were just a part of who he was, even at his best: prickly, sharp. But it didn't have to be biting or vicious, they didn't have to be full of spite or venom. And her desire to find something for him to enjoy gets something like a half-smile.]
Someone has ambitions.
[But to hear she was happy was- a complicated feeling. And he knew- he understood that it had nothing to do with her being delighted at his death. Or at Elidibus' death, or at their plans being in ruins and their past forever lost to them.
But that some measure of peace had been achieved for them all. That they could meet together like this and not despise one another. Even if there was a measure of melancholy at knowing that death was the only way any of this had been possible, and that this posthumous meeting could only occur in a place outside their star.]
Well... hopefully 'tis a feeling that won't be as wholly uncommon in future. Both here and at home.
[Standing up as tall as she can, she tilts his upper body downward a bit so she can reach his face to kiss him, something sweet and gentle. It doesn't last as long as it probably could, but just the gesture alone is enough for her.]
I bet Mettaton will be happy to hear from you, too.
[The kiss doesn't quite take him by surprise, and as she stretches up, Emet-Selch leans down a little to make it slightly easier. A soft gesture, and his hand briefly brushes the side of her face.
The statement, though, draws a blink, and he glances away with a slight frown, though it's more of a thoughtful look than a negative one. It wasn't a poor memory at all, with how everything had turned out, but that part in particular...]
--Ah. He already knows. He happened to catch me on my unknowing return to my mirror.
[With the natural assumption of what being called to one's mirror entailed.]
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omnicrafter) wrote2019-08-02 03:20 am
text; mid october
To live, apparently. In this strange world far from home, he was permitted life, permitted thoughts that weren't gradually drifting away from him, one by one as he let his consciousness fade into that aetherial sea. Interrupted from his slow dissipation, he was here; and yet, despite being denied his retirement, he found he didn't mind. Tired as he remained, there was no rush.
Bringing up Irhya's name in his watch, Emet-Selch just looks at it for a long time, staring at the blank field below without typing anything at all. Where could he even start? It felt like lifetimes ago now that they had argued, had reconciled of sorts, in a pattern that continued. And while he didn't regret it, exactly (in the same way that he didn't regret any of the Rejoinings, anything that he'd done), it called up a mentality that he had a harder time reaching. Even when they were on better terms, there had always been an undercurrent of resentment from him, of grief that he could barely contain. There had always been distance. As yet, that was perhaps still there, but all of that fear and anger, that lack of forgiveness, that tendency towards spite- it felt, not foreign, but not something he could call to mind quite so readily.
What was left in its wake, he couldn't tell. But that was all the more reason to talk to her. To... find some sort of answer.
Irhya wasn't the Warrior of Light that he had helped, but- the Emet-Selch of her world would have done the same, he's certain. He knows himself, if nothing else; he would've entrusted the world to her, to the humanity she'd successfully championed for. The Ascian... still didn't like them. He still had a measure of distrust for them, disdain, even, but--
--but it hadn't been the time for them to perish. It was... their world now, to live and die with such transience; the star was theirs to guide from that moment forward. And he could rest. His work unfinished, his people lost, but- their time was over. It had been over for so long, lost from the start, for all that he'd never been able to see it.
What Emet-Selch actually ends up sending is extremely brief. A non-sequitur, a comment that consists of only a handful of letters, swiftly typed, for all that he had taken so long to consider his words to start.]
You were right.
[How utterly cryptic.]
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What was I right about?
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In your observation of my last moments, you mentioned that I appeared unburdened. That a weight had been lifted. That you yourself were relieved to see it.
[A statement he had not taken well.]
You could say... that I have more of an understanding of what you meant.
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I recently came away from the mirror with new memories, myself... was that what happened with you?
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But you recall more as well?
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And I have still more questions than before, of course. Isn't that always the way of it?
But I guess I hadn't really understood how much they meant to you until I saw the crystal you made. I can't even tell you what it was like to hear Hythlodaeus explain it all, and suddenly feel like something clicked into place...
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[Nor does it exactly come as a surprise that she'd 'found' the stone, so it does seem that they were possibly from around the same time, for once... in their own ways. However--]
Though I must ask, having not been in a position to watch the remainder of your battle...
You won, didn't you?
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...Elidibus was really young when it happened, wasn't he? Comparatively speaking. I forced myself to put up a front at first, but... gods, I wanted so badly to reach out and hug him.
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[But he couldn't deny the shade of relief he felt, to know for certain. With even Elidibus freed from their endless burden, then- it was finally over. Emet-Selch gazes at the watch for a few minutes without seeing it, thinking of not much of anything. It was... far less bitter of a feeling than he'd expected, being done. For all that it was strange to be alive enough to recognize it.
Eventually he shakes it off, frowning at his own reverie before he continues.]
He was. Though an adult, he was yet easily the youngest among us. But despite his age, he was more than suitable to take on the role of our Emissary... and the perfect candidate to become the heart of our god.
Did you catch a glimpse of who he had once been? I thought you might. [That she would realize why she'd been provided the rest of those constellation stones. Her own, to keep. The others to give to the one who needed the reminder most of all, even if it required death for Elidibus to see it.] Of the three of us who persisted... I would say he was the most changed, though through no fault of his own.
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Hades, I
I'm so sorry
Having to make that decision and follow through to the end was hell. But it must have been so much more painful for you. All of you.
Azem never wanted to make that choice, either. Azem tried to stay neutral the whole time and yet
Mmmmmmgh
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They would have argued, would have hurt, and little would have been accomplished.
But the inclination was gone, replaced with a more settled mood he still didn't know the shape of. So he only continues, writing the words as he thinks of them.]
He had been something of a younger brother to us all, so when it became clear he was the one most suitable to become Zodiark, there were none among us who did not hesitate. Who did not consider asking if there should be another way forward, to spare both him and us this fate. The 'honor' of it was far outweighed by our awareness of all we would lose in our salvation....
Perhaps Azem was right in the end to leave us, though I still know not what other choice we had.
[The mortal hero carrying their soul had accomplished impossible things, and its original bearer had been no less remarkable. If he had trusted in Azem instead, could things have been different...?]
And choice was taken from you as well, due to Her influence... belated as it is, you know the full truth of it now.
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It's a small blessing. Maybe, from here forward... there'll be less anger and hurt all around.]
I just wish I could ask Her for something more to go on. She once told me that Zodiark "wanted for power" when I was in the aetherial sea, but I know not what the truth of it is... And yet, it would be inaccurate to say there's not been some information purposely withheld.
I think I understand it all better now. Perhaps Azem might've found another way, given time, but the end of the world wasn't about to wait. Perhaps... thinking about what could've been only hurts more than it helps in this case.
And yet, even though they left, even though a rift remained, you still cared enough to make that crystal in secret. If you would allow me to say it... thank you for being their friend to the end.
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If Zodiark ever wanted for power, it would only be towards fulfilling His duty. For saving us and the world. That Hydaelyn would twist it in such a way to ensure your sympathy, your loyalty- well. She's as beholden to whatever desires accompanied Her creation. As for what those might be, lying at the heart of Her, I could only guess.
But you're likely right- considering it too long at this late date benefits us nothing. All we know for certain is what has already occurred, the fate we've landed ourselves.
[He still wasn't one for regrets, but it was hard to avoid a bit of retrospection, in the wake of everything ending.
But the gratitude has him pause, and he's relieved that this is over text, knowing that he wouldn't have been able to disguise his startle with much success. Irhya... wasn't Azem, precisely, but she carried part of them, their will living on through her, if cast in a specific Irhya-esque light. To hear something like that from her... it felt a little like a part of that eternally unbridged divide between himself and his old friend had- not closed, but had been eased that smallest bit.]
They deserved to be remembered. I think, were our positions reversed, they would have done the same.
[They had been friends, before they had ever been members of the Convocation. They still were, despite everything.]
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[What was the impetus for summoning Hydaelyn in the first place? All supposition about it being to prevent Zodiark from growing too powerful has been just that. And only Her original summoner might know such a thing...
If only they could go back and see more of the recordings in Anamnesis Anyder. Perhaps when Y'shtola gets around to establishing that means of travel back and forth like she said she wanted to.]
Hey, um
Can I come see you? Like, in person.
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The request to see him doesn't come as much surprise. Strange as it might be, they would have to face each other eventually. Contacting her first through text had been some small delay of the inevitable, and for all that he didn't dread it, that he wanted to see her, really- it wasn't the easiest, or most straightforward of reunions.
But then, perhaps he always had been drawn to complicated relationships.]
If you like. I can teleport myself to my room momentarily.
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[She gives him about five minutes, then comes knocking at his door, giving him a heartfelt look as it opens. Then she pulls him into an embrace without further ado, curling her arms around him tight.
Maybe he doesn't need it, strictly speaking, but she does.]
Hey...
[Spoken by way of greeting, muffled into his shirt. Just his scent is calming, even if she's begun to associate it with feeding by now. That isn't the point of this visit, however.]
How are you feeling? You seem... like you've found a little peace.
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Wouldn't you expect death to be peaceful?
[Something that could've been a bitter statement, but instead was only mild. It wasn't as though he were delighted with being dead, but it... wasn't terrible either. More importantly, perhaps, he didn't resent it.]
I'm getting used to it. Something that I suspect will take some time... 'tis an unfamiliar feeling, to wake up every day here and remember that it's over.
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[The mention of it being over makes her squeeze a little tighter. The difference is astounding... maybe he really did have an epiphany in that moment, one she couldn't comprehend.]
That you get to wake every day at all is precious. At least, it is to me. Even small stretches of time are priceless to the fleeting.
I hope you'll be all right. I guess it will take a little time still, but I think it might be better than being left with naught to do but dread the future. You seemed so stressed...
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[It could've been another point of insult. How could he be alright when he was dead, when returning would mean nothing but a resuming of that state? When all he had here was a time unknown to him? It would be easy to do nothing but dwell on it, wait for it, but--]
--But it's valuable, this. Even if it's only for a little while.
[A sigh of a breath stirs her hair, and he strokes her back slowly with one hand.]
I won't say it's quite relaxing yet. But I suddenly have been given a lot of free time, being no longer called to accomplish something impossible.
[Technically his days were as full or empty as they ever were, but it felt different, to not have them weighted down in the same way, aware of all that he was meant to save but was unable to reach.]
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[Her head turns slightly, so that her ear can listen in on his heart inside his chest.]
Maybe I should call on you more often, then? If you've got such an overabundance of free time and no idea what to do with it. More quest board adventures, perhaps? Or another play outing? I probably still owe you dinner since we skipped it last time...
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And yet... it didn't feel as though they were travelling quite as parallel as they once were.]
I don't regret it. Being here, or meeting you.
[If only it hadn't required reality-travelling and death. But it was... what it was. Even if this was all they had, it was something.]
But should you find something of interest, be it an indulgence of your tiresome adventuring habits, or a decent-sounding show, I may be more amenable to persuasion. [That's a 'yes', apparently.] Even just watching you at your crafting... I could spare you some time, perhaps.
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I'm so glad to hear that. All of it. Just you wait, I'm going to find something even you'll have to admit is enjoyable!
[A pause, and she takes in a breath, as if trying to hold back tears. It's so ridiculous, she doesn't happy cry, but even so...]
I haven't been this happy in a while. Thank you.
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Someone has ambitions.
[But to hear she was happy was- a complicated feeling. And he knew- he understood that it had nothing to do with her being delighted at his death. Or at Elidibus' death, or at their plans being in ruins and their past forever lost to them.
But that some measure of peace had been achieved for them all. That they could meet together like this and not despise one another. Even if there was a measure of melancholy at knowing that death was the only way any of this had been possible, and that this posthumous meeting could only occur in a place outside their star.]
Well... hopefully 'tis a feeling that won't be as wholly uncommon in future. Both here and at home.
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I bet Mettaton will be happy to hear from you, too.
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The statement, though, draws a blink, and he glances away with a slight frown, though it's more of a thoughtful look than a negative one. It wasn't a poor memory at all, with how everything had turned out, but that part in particular...]
--Ah. He already knows. He happened to catch me on my unknowing return to my mirror.
[With the natural assumption of what being called to one's mirror entailed.]
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