If it'd just been the things that happened in Eorzea, none of this would've spun out of my control in the first place...
I think, for the vast majority of those here, it's safe to say this is the first time you've all been off your home shards. Even for the Warrior of Light, it's not really commonplace to be transported somewhere like this, without warning or explanation. But I've been stuck doing it for so long now that I can't even remember everything anymore. Certain events, certain people, but none with absolute clarity.
A lot of these places have people like the ones we know, too. People I've cared about, who used to keep me going when it would've been far too easy to put down the mantle and walk away. To date, I don't think a single one has known me, at least to begin with. So I tried a few times to create something new in the place of what used to be, perhaps; but after the first several times of getting a little bit comfortable and then having it all erased again, like nothing ever happened... To have to rebuild a house of straw over and over again in the face of a raging storm gets so tiresome after a while that one might even just decide to forsake the idea altogether.
I know I shouldn't take it out on others. None of this is their fault, and you can't just draw up things that don't exist from nothing. I'd already been teetering on a dangerous edge to begin with, but when I first started trying to blend in here, I ended up doing exactly that. So now I'm paying for it, because I was an idiot who didn't think before driving an emotional blade into someone I'm supposed to care about.
The few people I've already talked to about it have already spelled out their disgust with me, so no worries on that. That said, I can probably at least pick my arse up off the ground and regain my footing so others talking to me isn't a miserable chore, though actually getting anything to go in my favor again may just have to wait until the next time I meet them anew. But I'll remember.
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I think, for the vast majority of those here, it's safe to say this is the first time you've all been off your home shards. Even for the Warrior of Light, it's not really commonplace to be transported somewhere like this, without warning or explanation. But I've been stuck doing it for so long now that I can't even remember everything anymore. Certain events, certain people, but none with absolute clarity.
A lot of these places have people like the ones we know, too. People I've cared about, who used to keep me going when it would've been far too easy to put down the mantle and walk away. To date, I don't think a single one has known me, at least to begin with. So I tried a few times to create something new in the place of what used to be, perhaps; but after the first several times of getting a little bit comfortable and then having it all erased again, like nothing ever happened... To have to rebuild a house of straw over and over again in the face of a raging storm gets so tiresome after a while that one might even just decide to forsake the idea altogether.
I know I shouldn't take it out on others. None of this is their fault, and you can't just draw up things that don't exist from nothing. I'd already been teetering on a dangerous edge to begin with, but when I first started trying to blend in here, I ended up doing exactly that. So now I'm paying for it, because I was an idiot who didn't think before driving an emotional blade into someone I'm supposed to care about.
The few people I've already talked to about it have already spelled out their disgust with me, so no worries on that. That said, I can probably at least pick my arse up off the ground and regain my footing so others talking to me isn't a miserable chore, though actually getting anything to go in my favor again may just have to wait until the next time I meet them anew. But I'll remember.